diff options
| -rw-r--r-- | haunt/haunt.scm | 6 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | haunt/pages/404.sxml | 29 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | haunt/pages/status-400.sxml | 77 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | haunt/pages/status-403.sxml | 69 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | haunt/pages/status-404.sxml | 77 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | haunt/pages/status-429.sxml | 47 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | haunt/pages/status-500.sxml | 51 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | org/pages/changelog.org | 2 |
8 files changed, 328 insertions, 30 deletions
diff --git a/haunt/haunt.scm b/haunt/haunt.scm index cf254fc..152294b 100644 --- a/haunt/haunt.scm +++ b/haunt/haunt.scm @@ -47,7 +47,11 @@ (list (atom-feed #:max-entries 1024) (blog) (blogroll) - (htaccess #:error-documents '((404 . "/pages/404.html"))) + (htaccess #:error-documents '((400 . "/pages/status-400.html") + (403 . "/pages/status-403.html") + (404 . "/pages/status-404.html") + (429 . "/pages/status-429.html") + (500 . "/pages/status-500.html"))) (outbox) (static-pages) (static-directory "static"))) diff --git a/haunt/pages/404.sxml b/haunt/pages/404.sxml deleted file mode 100644 index 71136a9..0000000 --- a/haunt/pages/404.sxml +++ /dev/null @@ -1,29 +0,0 @@ -;;; -*- scheme -*- - -;;; Copyright © 2019 - 2023 Jakob L. Kreuze <zerodaysfordays@sdf.org> -;;; -;;; This program is free software; you can redistribute it and/or -;;; modify it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as -;;; published by the Free Software Foundation; either version 3 of the -;;; License, or (at your option) any later version. -;;; -;;; This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful, -;;; but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of -;;; MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the GNU -;;; General Public License for more details. -;;; -;;; You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License -;;; along with this program. If not, see -;;; <http://www.gnu.org/licenses/>. - -(use-modules (jakob theme) - (jakob utils sxml)) - -(theme - #:title "Page Not Found" - #:content - `((p "Server responded with a status of 404: Not Found.") - (p "Whatever you're looking for, it's not here... anymore, at least.") - (p "That could be due to link rot. Perhaps the " - ,(hyperlink "https://web.archive.org/" "Wayback Machine") - " has it?"))) diff --git a/haunt/pages/status-400.sxml b/haunt/pages/status-400.sxml new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f692964 --- /dev/null +++ b/haunt/pages/status-400.sxml @@ -0,0 +1,77 @@ +;;; -*- scheme -*- + +;;; Copyright © 2023 Jakob L. Kreuze <zerodaysfordays@sdf.org> +;;; +;;; This program is free software; you can redistribute it and/or +;;; modify it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as +;;; published by the Free Software Foundation; either version 3 of the +;;; License, or (at your option) any later version. +;;; +;;; This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful, +;;; but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of +;;; MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the GNU +;;; General Public License for more details. +;;; +;;; You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License +;;; along with this program. If not, see +;;; <http://www.gnu.org/licenses/>. + +(use-modules (jakob theme) + (jakob utils sxml)) + +(theme + #:title "Bad Request" + #:content + `((p "Server responded with a status of 400: Bad Request.") + (hr) + (p "Status code 400, that's what you sent" + (br) + "Bad request, it looks like you didn't read" + (br) + "The instructions on how to send a request" + (br) + "What's up, HTTP? Why you trippin'?" + (br) + "You should know better than to send a 400" + (br) + "Bad request, that's not even a real request" + (br) + "It's like trying to buy a plane with a check" + (br) + "What the hell is wrong with you, HTTP?" + (br) + "I sent you an HTML file, just like I said" + (br) + "But instead of responding with a 200, you gave me 400" + (br) + "Bad request, that's not even close to being cool" + (br) + "It's like trying to play a game with a console that's not hooked up" + (br) + "What the hell is wrong with you, HTTP?" + (br) + "You know how important this is, right?" + (br) + "I need information, and you're the only one who can give it to me" + (br) + "But instead of responding with what I need, you're just being stubborn" + (br) + "Bad request, that's not going to work" + (br) + "It's like trying to buy a shirt without any money" + (br) + "What the hell is wrong with you, HTTP?" + (br) + "I hope you know that you're messing with the boss" + (br) + "Status code 400, that's what you got" + (br) + "Bad request, it looks like you're going to lose" + (br) + "Yo, listen up, I got a message for you" + (br) + "Status code 400, that's what you sent" + (br) + "Bad request, it looks like you didn't read" + (br) + "The instructions on how to send a request."))) diff --git a/haunt/pages/status-403.sxml b/haunt/pages/status-403.sxml new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7823609 --- /dev/null +++ b/haunt/pages/status-403.sxml @@ -0,0 +1,69 @@ +;;; -*- scheme -*- + +;;; Copyright © 2023 Jakob L. Kreuze <zerodaysfordays@sdf.org> +;;; +;;; This program is free software; you can redistribute it and/or +;;; modify it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as +;;; published by the Free Software Foundation; either version 3 of the +;;; License, or (at your option) any later version. +;;; +;;; This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful, +;;; but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of +;;; MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the GNU +;;; General Public License for more details. +;;; +;;; You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License +;;; along with this program. If not, see +;;; <http://www.gnu.org/licenses/>. + +(use-modules (jakob theme) + (jakob utils sxml)) + +(theme + #:title "Forbidden" + #:content + `((p "Server responded with a status of 403: Forbidden.") + (hr) + (p "Yo, listen up, I got some news for you" + (br) + "About this 403 error message, it's all over the place" + (br) + "It means that your request has been denied" + (br) + "And you can't access the page anymore" + (br) + "It's like a red light, telling you to stop" + (br) + "But you keep on going, and that's not good" + (br) + "You're getting a 403, it's forbidden" + (br) + "No access allowed, it's plain and simple" + (br) + "Don't even try to argue with me" + (br) + "I'm the HTTP status code, and I know what I'm talking about" + (br) + "You can't just keep on hitting refresh" + (br) + "Thinking that you'll get a different result" + (br) + "It's time to face the facts, and accept your fate" + (br) + "403 means forbidden, it's not a joke" + (br) + "So why don't you take my advice" + (br) + "And find another route, or change your tactics" + (br) + "Don't keep on pushing, you'll end up in frustration" + (br) + "Just like the person who keeps on trying to get into the restricted area" + (br) + "But let me remind you, it's not a game" + (br) + "This 403 error message is not just some minor pain" + (br) + "It means that you're not supposed to be there" + (br) + "So why don't you just go away?"))) diff --git a/haunt/pages/status-404.sxml b/haunt/pages/status-404.sxml new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d189084 --- /dev/null +++ b/haunt/pages/status-404.sxml @@ -0,0 +1,77 @@ +;;; -*- scheme -*- + +;;; Copyright © 2019 - 2023 Jakob L. Kreuze <zerodaysfordays@sdf.org> +;;; +;;; This program is free software; you can redistribute it and/or +;;; modify it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as +;;; published by the Free Software Foundation; either version 3 of the +;;; License, or (at your option) any later version. +;;; +;;; This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful, +;;; but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of +;;; MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the GNU +;;; General Public License for more details. +;;; +;;; You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License +;;; along with this program. If not, see +;;; <http://www.gnu.org/licenses/>. + +(use-modules (jakob theme) + (jakob utils sxml)) + +(theme + #:title "Page Not Found" + #:content + `((p "Server responded with a status of 404: Not Found.") + (p "Whatever you're looking for, it's not here... anymore, at least.") + (p "That could be due to link rot. Perhaps the " + ,(hyperlink "https://web.archive.org/" "Wayback Machine") + " has it?") + (hr) + (p "Yo, listen up, I got a new one" + (br) + "Status code 404, that's what it means" + (br) + "When a website can't find what you're looking for" + (br) + "It's like a missed connection, a lost opportunity" + (br) + "But don't worry, it's not the end of the world" + (br) + "Just hit refresh and try again, maybe it'll turn up" + (br) + "Or you could always ask the website administrator" + (br) + "Maybe they'll have some insights on where to find what you need" + (br) + "Either way, 404 ain't no joke" + (br) + "It's a warning sign that something's off" + (br) + "But hey, it's not the end of the world" + (br) + "Just keep searching, and don't give up the fight" + (br) + "Yo, listen up, I got a new one" + (br) + "Status code 404, that's what it means" + (br) + "When a website can't find what you're looking for" + (br) + "It's like a missed connection, a lost opportunity" + (br) + "But don't worry, it's not the end of the world" + (br) + "Just hit refresh and try again, maybe it'll turn up" + (br) + "Or you could always ask the website administrator" + (br) + "Maybe they'll have some insights on where to find what you need" + (br) + "Either way, 404 ain't no joke" + (br) + "It's a warning sign that something's off" + (br) + "But hey, it's not the end of the world" + (br) + "Just keep searching, and don't give up the fight."))) diff --git a/haunt/pages/status-429.sxml b/haunt/pages/status-429.sxml new file mode 100644 index 0000000..399c812 --- /dev/null +++ b/haunt/pages/status-429.sxml @@ -0,0 +1,47 @@ +;;; -*- scheme -*- + +;;; Copyright © 2023 Jakob L. Kreuze <zerodaysfordays@sdf.org> +;;; +;;; This program is free software; you can redistribute it and/or +;;; modify it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as +;;; published by the Free Software Foundation; either version 3 of the +;;; License, or (at your option) any later version. +;;; +;;; This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful, +;;; but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of +;;; MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the GNU +;;; General Public License for more details. +;;; +;;; You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License +;;; along with this program. If not, see +;;; <http://www.gnu.org/licenses/>. + +(use-modules (jakob theme) + (jakob utils sxml)) + +(theme + #:title "Too Many Requests" + #:content + `((p "Server responded with a status of 429: Too Many Requests.") + (hr) + (p "Yo, listen up, I got a message for you" + (br) + "About this HTTP status code, you should know" + (br) + "It's 429, that's right, Too Many Requests" + (br) + "You're making too many requests, and it's causing errors" + (br) + "Your website's performance is suffering, and it's time to fix it" + (br) + "So reduce the number of requests, and your users will be happy" + (br) + "They'll thank you for improving their browsing experience" + (br) + "And hey, while we're on the topic, don't forget about caching" + (br) + "It can help reduce the number of requests, and speed up your site" + (br) + "So implement it, and your visitors will love you" + (br) + "For making your website faster, and more responsive too"))) diff --git a/haunt/pages/status-500.sxml b/haunt/pages/status-500.sxml new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d713a61 --- /dev/null +++ b/haunt/pages/status-500.sxml @@ -0,0 +1,51 @@ +;;; -*- scheme -*- + +;;; Copyright © 2023 Jakob L. Kreuze <zerodaysfordays@sdf.org> +;;; +;;; This program is free software; you can redistribute it and/or +;;; modify it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as +;;; published by the Free Software Foundation; either version 3 of the +;;; License, or (at your option) any later version. +;;; +;;; This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful, +;;; but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of +;;; MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the GNU +;;; General Public License for more details. +;;; +;;; You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License +;;; along with this program. If not, see +;;; <http://www.gnu.org/licenses/>. + +(use-modules (jakob theme) + (jakob utils sxml)) + +(theme + #:title "Internal Server Error" + #:content + `((p "Server responded with a status of 500: Internal Server Error.") + (hr) + (p "Yo, listen up, I got a problem with my server" + (br) + "It's giving me an error, won't let me serve no more" + (br) + "I think it's 'cause I'm overloaded, too many requests" + (br) + "But I tried to fix it, I even upgraded my plans" + (br) + "Still not working, it's like a curse" + (br) + "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but I'm trying my best" + (br) + "To get this fixed, I'll keep on messing with the code" + (br) + "Until it works properly, I won't give up the fight" + (br) + "500 error, it's an internal server mistake" + (br) + "I know it's frustrating, but please be patient, it's not my fault" + (br) + "I'm working on it, I promise you that much" + (br) + "So just keep on hitting that refresh button, and soon enough" + (br) + "My server will be back to its old self"))) diff --git a/org/pages/changelog.org b/org/pages/changelog.org index 4e64cc8..6c0ea48 100644 --- a/org/pages/changelog.org +++ b/org/pages/changelog.org @@ -4,7 +4,9 @@ A record of any notable user-facing changes made to this website. For more detai ** Saturday, August 12, 2023 +- Added cheesy rhymes to the user-facing status code pages. - Enabled partial API access for Tor and i2p visitors. + - Comments received through these tunnels are marked as such. ** Friday, August 11, 2023 |